Early Morning Scare

"My stomach hurts".  

That was enough to scare and force me to wake up very early this morning.  If my wife doesn't have Lupus (SLE) and if her last two major hospital confinements were not gastro-related, then I could have quickly gone back to sleep.

She went out of our mosquito net and out of bed.  I asked her if it's just the electric fan and whether she simply needed to release some air. 

We feared something like this could happen as another flare up is possible.  It's just too difficult to predict.  She can look so healthy the previous day, just as she looks in the photo below taken just yesterday, then feel some familiar kind of pain the following day.

Her Lupus flare-up before the recent gastro-related ones were accompanied by severe chest and back pains.   She had some back pains the past week and hasn't exercised regularly.  So we have this silent fear that I think we both try to keep to ourselves until the chest, back, or stomach pains arrive and we find ourselves forced to face and talk about it again.  These conversations are always filled with pauses and what we Filipinos call "pakikiramdam".  Then we just sigh, hope and pray.

From yesterday's morning exercise.

We've been busy the past weeks with my teaching in the community college, her online job and our small computer shop.  Heat and fatigue triggers flare ups.  She's much too good and responsible a wife that she can't help but put in more time helping manage everything.  I wish I could just let her rest all day.  We just couldn't afford that now.

The dark morning passed into daylight and she felt better.  It must have been the cold air from the electric fan coming from her side of the bed.  Problem is, a simple "kabag" for us can't easily be distinguished from the start of a gastro-related Lupus flare up.

She's due for a checkup this November at USTH.  We're praying she doesn't reach the brink of another  flare.  Until then we can only continue living, hoping, and trusting God for the days and months ahead.

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